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But sometimes, you need to share about something that involves people outside your immediate, supportive circle.

Maybe it’s someone from an old job. A family member. Or a stranger. But here you are, wanting to share a story that may involve that person, wondering how you’re supposed to share it.

Should you leave them out? Not talk about it at all?

Watch this video for my suggestions on how to tell that story that involves other people.

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My kids play dress up a lot with various pieces of clothing that they decided make up a character’s costume. Usually, it looks nothing like that character, but they tell me that’s who they are.

They name their dolls, animals we see, and people they don’t know. My oldest is a little more grounded (most of the time), while my youngest comes up with the most off-the-wall thing she can think of. When the Easter Bunny brought them Barbies with horses this year, my big girl named her horse “Apple.” The little one went with “Spoiled Toss.” Another time, I asked my oldest what she would name an elephant if we bought one. Without missing a beat, she said “Pogo Stick.”

Of course.

Not once have they worried about what other people will think about their play, their outfits, or their naming convention. Not once have they felt silly. I actually doubt they’ve ever been embarrassed either. As part of a very creative family, they have been encouraged to explore and be themselves.

Alright fellow grownup, look at us now.

How often have we started to write something and felt pressure to do it a certain way? Wondered if it will be received well? Thought that our opinion might be a little too much?

And that has stopped us in our tracks.

How many books do you think have been halted in their infancy because people are afraid of others’ opinions? I’m sure a lot of them have been.

We straddle this line between perfection and critique, between judging ourselves and fearing the judgment of others. And sometimes it means that we come to a standstill, afraid to wobble, afraid to fall. Afraid that it won’t be perfect for us. Afraid that others will laugh when they aren’t supposed to. Or scowl. Or criticize.

Let’s widen that line to a safe field. A place to play where we have no fear of judgement. Where we listen to ourselves and lead with our hearts and go where we long to linger. Let’s escape to the edge of brilliance and chaos and light. Let’s create without judgement.

When we create the same way we did as children, when we focus on the enjoyment of the piece, on getting our ideas on paper, on growing, on developing into that butterfly, that’s when we escape perfection and judgement and move into our own bliss.

Absolutely set parameters. Define your audience and what they love. Define what they need. Define what you need. Then go. This is how you connect.

When you leave fear and skepticism in your mind, it appears in your work. In the sacred space between the words. Allow only for bravery, love, courage, and peace. For honesty and clarity.

This is more than what we did as children. The wisdom of our lifetimes with the breath of our childhood. On the page. On the post. On the site. From you to the world.

Write your truth and connect.

The post Create without Judgement appeared first on Aurora Corialis Publishing.

There is a very good reason why everyone from teachers to therapists to business coaches encourages people to write. Getting the words out of our heads and on paper can give us a new perspective on our thoughts. We can learn from it. And grow.

That’s why, so often, we end up writing something that arouses strong emotions. That’s probably where we most need to dig deeper, rather than pull back. If it hurts, then maybe it’s time to explore. Writing is a safe space.

When something triggers you, however, you may not want to share it with others.

And that’s ok.

So when you find yourself writing about something that triggers you as you’re penning your story, consider these two options:

1. Do you need to get it out? Is every part of your being pushing you to write this part of your story? Are you caught up in the moment, pouring your thoughts on paper? Does it feel like a good cry? This is the cleansing part of writing, so by all means just keep writing. Once it’s all out, you can decide if you want to keep it.
2. Do you feel like you’re ripping open an old wound? Maybe you should pause for a minute. If it’s seriously too painful to write this part, just put the basics and move on to a spot where you feel more comfortable. You actually might not be ready to talk about this yet. When you go back to review your writing, you can decide if you’re ready to write this. It might help you to talk to a friend or a therapist about this part of your story. Sometimes, that helps us feel safer to write about it.

You have permission to write a messy first draft. You have permission to over-detail. You have permission to go off on tangents. You have permission to go off. That first draft isn’t going to be what the reader finally holds in their hands anyway, so worry about what sees the light of another dawn the next time you edit.

Once you’ve written the part of your story that triggers you, give yourself some space before you reread. If fact, you may need a lot of time, a fun activity, or a cup of hot tea before you can go on. All of that is ok! Relax, and give yourself whatever you need to nurture your body and feel your best.

Then, when you go back to read that part of the story, determine if you want to share the whole thing. You don’t have to. Really. The editing process is where you cut out what isn’t necessary. That may be tangents, curse words, or things you aren’t ready to reveal to the world. You may want to cut some detail, especially if it’s brutal. Remember your audience when you’re cleaning. Ask if they need it.

Because it’s there, you needed to write it, so be ok with that. Then, you can clean and polish to present your story to the world.

The post How to Write About a Topic that Triggers You appeared first on Aurora Corialis Publishing.

I was so excited to hear that I made a difference! But often, we don’t know what impact we have on others’ lives because they watch and respond quietly. They listen and apply. They learn and grow. They observe and are inspired. We don’t always have the pleasure of hearing about the effect that our own work has on others’ work.

Sometimes as authors, we have to push through this void of non-response and know that people are really watching, listening, and being inspired. It can be tough, especially in the writing stage of our manuscripts, to think of what impact we will have or even hope that we touch one other person and help them out.

If you find yourself wondering if it’s worth it to even write your book, just remember that you are impacting people, even if they don’t tell you. Every word you write is important.

One thing you can do is make sure that you are providing opportunities for people to connect with you on your writing journey. Here are a few suggestions to help you get a feel for how you are impacting people.

1. Blog – On top of writing a book, doing a blog can feel like a lot of extra writing, but it really isn’t. This can give you a place to test out ideas and talk about the background of characters or what’s going on in your book, things that you may not actually discuss in your book. And it can be a place to test out passages from your book. Engage your audience by presenting a couple different ideas or parts of your book, and ask opinions. Find out which they are more drawn to. Discover things about the text that you didn’t see before. Others’ perspectives can be incredibly valuable.
2. Provide an initial chapter to readers – You can offer the chapter on your Facebook page, your blog, or a landing page (my favorite for collecting emails and building a list). If readers have something to start with, they will want to know more about your work. You can ask questions about the free chapter and engage your audience, discussing revisions or expectations.
3. Video – This is a really powerful tool, and it can be used in several different ways. Going live on Facebook, creating video blog posts, or posting on your YouTube channel will all give you a way of directly speaking to your audience. Why video? Readers get a feel for your personality and feel like they know you more than just by reading your work. Have you ever felt like you personally know a TV show host or a character in a TV series? It’s the same concept. To follow up, ask questions in the video, and ask viewers to respond in the comments.

Connecting with readers can not only motivate us to keep writing, but it can also help shape our work based on what they like, want, or expect. Just remember that by selecting a medium aside from your book to connect with your readers, you have to actually encourage the conversation. Ask them questions and encourage them to respond. THEN, you should respond, too. Build the relationship!

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