I published all my novels in 2012, so you might think that I’m a little behind on doing my first book festival. The truth is that I really didn’t have time to do an event before this.

No time in four years?

Here’s the story: I self-published all my novels while I was pregnant with my first child, and I approved the proof of the last one the day before I went into labor with her. She was born on November 22, 2012, Thanksgiving Day. Since then, I have been taking care of her and her sister who was born last January. Aside from babies, I have also started my own business (and previously worked a full-time job). So, yes, in four years, I have not had a moment of rest.

But, when I started my business earlier this year, I decided that I should make my books a part of it. I’m a writer and editor, so I might as well use research for my clients to benefit my own books and use experiences with my own books to benefit my tribe!

The Beaver County Book Fest was my first author event. It’s an annual festival held in Beaver County, Pa., just 45 minutes from Pittsburgh. I attended it a few years ago with a friend and enjoyed it, so I thought I would try my luck.

I read through their website before I signed up and discovered that they had no requirements for an author to participate. You didn’t have to be traditionally published or have so many stars on Amazon or have tons of followers or awards. Perfect. An author like me was welcome!

I still waited nervously after I sent off my check. What was I doing? I’m not a real author. I don’t have accolades or a contract. Surely they would send it back.

So I was shocked when they thanked me for my check and told me the details for the day . . . as if I were a real author.

On the morning of the festival, I still couldn’t believe I was actually going. I had asked my parents to come visit to help take care of my girls, and the car was packed with several boxes of books (the FAQ said that most people sell 10 books at the Book Fest, but since I had 6 different books to peddle, I wasn’t sure how many of each to bring).

At the festival, I nervously unloaded and set up my table. I thought it looked cute, thought definitely not nice enough to win the prize for best table. I had to give a little though, with no time, budget, or help for the setup. I went with an ice cream shop theme and had fresh, homemade cookies shaped like ice cream cones because the entrance to the secret world in my Martina Mackenzie series is in the ice cream shop.

The first thing I learned came quickly, right at the beginning of the day, while I waited behind my table. Most of the authors who I could see were sitting comfortably in their chairs waiting for buyers to come to them. I took a different approach, though: I stood almost the entire time and watched for anyone walking by to make eye contact. Then I simply smiled and said, “hello.” Many people kept walking after they answered “hello” back, but many more stopped for a moment and at least read the list of my book genres on my chalkboard. Still others approached the table to chat with me for a minute and look at my books.

If they came to my table, that gave me an opportunity to talk about my books and find out what they were looking for, who they were shopping for, what they like to read, etc. I tried to have a book-related conversation with them. I gave them an opportunity to know me, to connect. And this resulted in me selling eight books! That may not seem like many, but for a new author competing with 70 other authors, some more well-known in the area, I was pretty happy. I also gave out a lot of business cards and post cards for my upcoming book launch event (since I never had a book launch initially). I thought that if they were interested in me and my books enough to chat, they might attend my author-competition-free book party and actually purchase next time.

My other lesson came slowly and is still marinating.

I had only sold a few books before the Book Fest, most to friends or family, a couple on Amazon to strangers. I was excited to finally have an opportunity to sell my books to people in person, and not just people who thought it was nice that Cori wrote a story.

So when the first woman handed me money for a book, you may be surprised to hear that my heart sank. What was I doing? I felt like I was ripping her off. I signed the book and handed it to her. I took the money. I felt like a crook. Who was I to charge her for that book? I wrote it. I’m no author. I don’t have a publisher or great reviews. I’m a fraud.

The feeling never went away. I managed to cheerfully sign and hand over every book I sold, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling embarrassed. Why was I doing this? How could I take their money?

I admitted my feeling to my mastermind group a few days later, and I think others have felt the same way. It’s hard to feel like we are actually what we claim to be when we don’t have piles of evidence to validate it. I say I’m an author, but I’m self-published. I say I’m an author, but I have only sold a few books. I wonder if successful authors—you know, the big names—started out the same way. I wonder if many entrepreneurs feel this way.

As I thought about the Book Fest while writing this post, I came to another conclusion: maybe all those authors who were sitting at their tables waiting for people to approach them felt the way I did. Maybe they were saying to themselves, “Look at that woman with the red hair and the berry sundress working her biz! She’s so confident that she must know what she’s doing! I bet she has tons of great reviews. People are constantly stopping at her table! She sold another book. I wish people would buy my books.”

I don’t know of any list of requirements, aside from a published book, that makes one a real author.

Before I self-published, when I told people that I was a writer who wanted to be published, I was frequently met with doubt and an eye roll. “Everyone is a writer.”

I’m not sure why people think that’s ok. Why crush someone’s dreams? What does that do for either of you? It’s not like those people had read my work and didn’t like it. They had no reason to discourage me, but I couldn’t get their voices out of my head when I was finally reaching my goal.

After talking with my mastermind group, I know that I need to focus on what I’ve done to establish myself as an author. I never would have invested so much time and effort on getting my books out to the public if I didn’t believe, deep down, that they were worth something. I’m also a professional editor, and I know that I would have encouraged the author of my books, had it been someone else. I would have ensured them that the books were good and needed to be sold, read, and loved.

I’m sure that a few years from now I will have Amazon reviews and blurbs to back up what I know, but for now, the small steps I’m taking to sell my books and solidify my status as a writer are also toward confidence in knowing that I really am an author.