Funny story: One of my clients grew up with a strong work ethic. His family impressed on him at a young age that you have to work hard to get what you want in life. That, plus a lot of other challenges when he was young, also drove him to want to help others build a life they love rooted in the things they love.

This was a fun but challenging book to work on because the bulk of the book was written before we started our coaching relationship. There was SO MUCH good material. But it was a little mixed up, didn’t always flow smoothly from one point to the next, and had some other issues that we worked through together to create an absolutely amazing piece for his business.

The biggest challenge, though, was that I felt like I got a lot of tough love in this book. In fact, I used to joke on our calls that I felt like he was yelling at me when I was reading the text because it came across as really harsh.

This could be a challenge for you, too, especially if you are really passionate about something and honestly want to yell from the rooftops about an issue that needs to be fixed. We all get this way sometimes. The trick is to catch it in your writing before it turns the reader off.

Here are two great ways of doing this.

1. Catch it before it happens. When you feel yourself getting really passionate about the topic (maybe you feel hotter, you find yourself leaning over the keyboard, or you are clenching your jaw), clearly you have something to say about a hot button topic for you. Note those feelings in yourself and anchor back into a statement that helps you keep your focus. Maybe you need to reread what you wrote as the goal for your book before you started. Or maybe you need to say to yourself, “This book is going to help a lot of people, but only if I can speak calmly and make my point without insulting my readers.” Something we noticed in my client’s book was that he often started talking about people in a very generalized way and making huge, negative sweeping assumptions about them. Pulling out of that way of thinking and focusing on the good that you are going to do can help you calm the desire to choke a bitch with your words.
2. Soften the blow. Oddly, I found myself say on one of our calls that if you insist on punching the reader, at least give them a cookie afterward. That is totally not how I handle parenting, but it was the best example I could think of on the fly to explain how I wanted the writing to flow in that paragraph. We had several tough love sentences in a row about not wasting time and stepping up to own your power, but at the end of the paragraph, I felt like I as the reader was being told that I’m good for nothing. We needed to give that pep talk and follow it up with a little credit to the reader, some belief in their ability to kick butt. It’s much easier to take that tough talk with a little, “I believe in you. I know you have it in you to be amazing!” thrown in at the end to really pump the reader up and get them excited to change for the better.

Showing your reader compassion goes a long way. If a reader doesn’t feel like they are respected and cared for, they may not even finish your book. I wouldn’t want to read a book where I feel like I’m being yelled at or insulted, and neither would you. So be gentle, be respectful, and be empowering.

Struggling to get past page one? Let’s schedule a time to talk about your book so you can use it to grow your business and make a big impact in the world!