I LOVE having my picture taken. So what the hell happened at my photo shoot for my book?

Over the years, I’ve realized that the entire book writing process can be incredibly triggering. For starters, you’re sharing parts of your story, your brand, your ideas, your deep beliefs that you may not realize you are a little uncomfortable sharing.

It can be an absolute roller coaster of emotions from “Am I good enough?” to “Will I regret sharing that?” to “Who is going to read this?” Ugh.

And on top of that, you know you need to get it done, so you’re just slogging through all those emotions, writing like crazy, and trying to keep on track.

For many of the authors I work with, this is the reality of the writing process. Loving it. Hating it. Feeling liberated. Feeling trapped. Being brave. Feeling terrified. Up and down. Sometimes, all at the same time.

For me, it didn’t really happen till I hit the end. That’s when it usually gets real for me anyway. That’s when I come up for air and realize that I just completed another book. But this one, The SPARK Method, was different.

Before SPARK, I had written 7 other books. My first four are middle grade fantasy, then one chick lit, then 2 children’s books, the second of which I wrote with my oldest daughter, who was 6 at the time.

Before SPARK, I had only published fiction. SPARK was the first book that didn’t come from my pure creativity. And, it was the first book that would have my face on the front cover.

Still though, what’s the big deal? I love having my picture taken. I’m not shy about posing. And I’ve already published books.

This is where I finally realized that this was a big step for me. With my picture on the cover of my book, not just my name, I really had to own not only my message, but also my position as a leader. I was really stepping up and saying, “Hey, pay attention! I have something to say! It’s important!” And it didn’t hit me until the cover shoot.

I realized as we were taking pictures that all my smiles looked fake. As a former majorette, I can smile on command. It’s a talent, I know. But these all looked like something was going on. I had to stop and take a couple minutes to collect myself and ask my photographer, the fabulous Sarah Huggins, if she could distract me. I had to get out of my head to get a good shoot.

But, after the shoot, that feeling was still there. I hadn’t dealt with it. I just stepped away from it so I could finish doing what I needed to do: get a fantastic cover shot.

Later, I sat down and did some journaling about what I thought about being a leader, what type of person can be a leader, what leaders are like, and how they are perceived. I had to become that person to stop being so scared about that book. And it had to happen fast. The advance copies were to be ready for the Pittsburgh Business Show the following week.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I’ve been working on becoming the person who I think would write and release The SPARK Method. I already had all the knowledge inside of me to write the book, but it took some mindset work, journaling, Reiki, and reaching out to Darieth Chisolm to write a forward for the full launch copy before I started to see myself as that leader.

If you’ve been putting off your book, the cover, or the launch, then maybe that’s what’s going on for you, too. Start looking at your idea of a leader. Write about it. Be that person. That’s the only way that book is going to happen. And you don’t want to miss out on all the fantastic opportunities that come along with it!