Writing is a very personal thing to do. It involves a lot of emotion, both negative and positive. It bares the soul. It’s an act of cleansing. An act of rebirth. Writing can bring out our best. It can heal.
There is a very good reason why everyone from teachers to therapists to business coaches encourages people to write. Getting the words out of our heads and on paper can give us a new perspective on our thoughts. We can learn from it. And grow.
That’s why, so often, we end up writing something that arouses strong emotions. That’s probably where we most need to dig deeper, rather than pull back. If it hurts, then maybe it’s time to explore. Writing is a safe space.
When something triggers you, however, you may not want to share it with others.
And that’s ok.
So when you find yourself writing about something that triggers you as you’re penning your story, consider these two options:
- Do you need to get it out? Is every part of your being pushing you to write this part of your story? Are you caught up in the moment, pouring your thoughts on paper? Does it feel like a good cry? This is the cleansing part of writing, so by all means just keep writing. Once it’s all out, you can decide if you want to keep it.
- Do you feel like you’re ripping open an old wound? Maybe you should pause for a minute. If it’s seriously too painful to write this part, just put the basics and move on to a spot where you feel more comfortable. You actually might not be ready to talk about this yet. When you go back to review your writing, you can decide if you’re ready to write this. It might help you to talk to a friend or a therapist about this part of your story. Sometimes, that helps us feel safer to write about it.
You have permission to write a messy first draft. You have permission to over-detail. You have permission to go off on tangents. You have permission to go off. That first draft isn’t going to be what the reader finally holds in their hands anyway, so worry about what sees the light of another dawn the next time you edit.
Once you’ve written the part of your story that triggers you, give yourself some space before you reread. If fact, you may need a lot of time, a fun activity, or a cup of hot tea before you can go on. All of that is ok! Relax, and give yourself whatever you need to nurture your body and feel your best.
Then, when you go back to read that part of the story, determine if you want to share the whole thing. You don’t have to. Really. The editing process is where you cut out what isn’t necessary. That may be tangents, curse words, or things you aren’t ready to reveal to the world. You may want to cut some detail, especially if it’s brutal. Remember your audience when you’re cleaning. Ask if they need it.
Because it’s there, you needed to write it, so be ok with that. Then, you can clean and polish to present your story to the world.